Good Bye Old Friend

Relationships are probably the most important thing we can make whether they are personal or professional in nature. I say we make relationships because they are made. Whether or not we have an instant connection with someone if the relationship is not nutured and taken care of it will presumably fall apart or become cold. Not to say that this is always the case. I have many close friends that no matter how long it has been since we last talked it is like we just spoke 5 min ago. Other friends, well so much time has passed that what do you talk about? Where do you start?

I had to make one of the toughest decisions of my life yesterday. It involved a relationship I had with an unsuspecting friend. Eight years ago I got my first dog. I never wanted a dog prior to that and still think I am allergic to them, but I digress. I was seemingly brow beaten into getting a dog by my ex-wife who just had to have one. We got in touch with the Basset Hound Rescue league and sent in an application. Because we had no children and no other pets they thought we would be the perfect adoptive parents for a Basset that had been abused and found stray. They named him Will, even if he never really answered to it. But it was definitely fitting for the 4 year old that had enough will to live, survive, and love even if in his own way. He had been in a kennel for 8 months by the time we met him. The word on the street was that he had gone home with someone else for one day, but was quickly returned when he was scared by a deer while out walking and went after the woman who had tried to give him a home.

My first impression of the dog that would become a loyal friend was one of pity. The kennel owners brought out a dirty dog, that was on a self imposed starvation diet in protest of being locked up in a kennel for so long with one of the loudest howls I had ever heard. I was so moved by the fact that this little guy (who turned out to be a lot stronger than I ever thought) looked so pitiful that I knew there was no other thing to do, but give him a home. I look back now and think the folks at the kennel were probably sure he would be back in a day or two. Anyone that ever had any contact with Willy new what a strong minded character he was. If it was going to be done, it would be done his way or he would fight tooth and nail to see to it that at least you knew he wasn't happy.

Things were never easy during the 8 years we spent together. Time went on, we both grew older, life happened, homes turned into apartments, apartments to a home. Family changed, work changed, life, friends, but the one constant was Will. The dog that originally didn't want to be looked at because he was scared (he literally would come at you if you dared look at him wrong) was broken of his old habits slowly but surely (well some old habits) and went from the dog that didn't want me to be around, to the dog that couldn't stand it if I wasn't there. His protests by destroying just about any material possession I ever had, when I would leave in the morning, were replaced by his incessant need to be by my side as soon as I got home. There was always guilt of not being able to ever spend enough time with him, although it was always short lived when I realized every waking minute of an entire lifetime would probably not have been enough time for him.

Brittney is an amazing woman to put up with me and the short stack of luggage I brought with me into our relationship. Will was not an easy dog to love. I have been told time and time again that many a dog owner would have taken him back and or had him put down long before they would have let their house get destroyed. I guess it is tough to say who needed who more. I don't know? When times were tough, Will was there. When things were good, Will was there. When I didn't feel like having him around because he destroyed my belongings (the blinds, the dry wall, the remote, my books, my carpet and on and on), guess who was there? Of course, always the side kick ready for a good car ride or a piece of pizza crust or some other treat.

I always hoped and prayed that by the time he got to be 8 years old he would calm down and just get old. At the age of 12 he was still cruising countertops looking for food, still responding to the doorbell with a ferocious bark, taking on Tonka the 3 year old Bulldog that outweighed him by 20 lbs, still trying to claw his way out of the garage, and still just being Will. Unfortunately, with his age also came the ailments that old dogs get. His eyes were going (if not completely gone), his joints were going and even though he wasn't as fast, he still let it be known he was the alpha dog. His sniffer never went and it was probably the only thing that kept him going and in and out of trouble.

Even as old as he was and missing teeth (he wore them down chewing on doorknobs trying to get out of the house) he was still so darn strong and even worse, unafraid. The only two things I ever saw him cower from were thunderstorms and if I raised a hand like I was going to swat him (even though I never did as many buttons as he would push). But other dogs were of no concern to him. If he didn't like another dog, it didn't matter how big the dog was, he would let it be known. He once went after a 150 lb Akita and had a fence fight, where two dogs try to go at it even if there is a cage link fence between them, which I think gave the kennel owner a heart attack, but that was Will.

Then came a phone call last December while at my Dad's house at Christmas. It was from the kennel at our Vet's office. A volunteer had tried to wake Will up and had gotten down into his space. He was most likely frightened and snapped at her. He ended up grabbing her lip and she needed 6 stitches to stop the bleeding. I felt awful and still do, but having lived with Will long enough I know you never got down on his level unless he agreed to it and never if he was sleeping. Now this wasn't the first time he had gotten a hold of someone, but it certainly was the worst. And unfortunately this scared the rest of the nice folks at the kennel and his visits were never the same after that.

Decision time. I brought the pound puppy with the big ears, sad eyes, big heart, and mean streak into the relationship. Unfortunately I couldn't see my friend living a life where he suffered or wasn't loved. Brittney was scared of him and rightfully so, most people were. He was the old man that was grumpy when he wanted to be and loving only when he wanted to be. He could turn on you like a light switch, but through it all I somehow still loved him and always will. Maybe because of my need to see things through. To not give up on a promise I made to him to always take care of him and never let anything bad happen to him. Maybe because I always reassured him, or at least myself, that I wouldn't leave him at the kennel and I would be back for him before he knew I was gone. Maybe because I knew that no matter what he needed me to take care of him and he relied on me for walks, for love, for food, for just about everything. But it couldn't go on. Something needed to be done so that there was no more fear of him hurting someone else. Fear generally wins out over love and the two don't always mix. If I ever met the owners that had abused him I don't know what I would do. I can say it probably would not be pleasant, but I can also say that there were times that I felt like wailing on him myself. I guess the difference is that I could never hurt a dog that only wanted me to love him.

I have had a lot of loss in my life (my Mom, grandparents, great aunts and uncles, friends, Valentine my other Basset Hound) and know I will get over it. Unfortunately I never had to make a decision under such circumstances and hope I never have to do it again. I know it was the right decision and waiting would have only prolonged things, but it doesn't make it any easier. Will, buddy, I love you and miss you! Hopefully now you are cruising countertops, getting all of the pizza crust, chicken scraps, and marshmellows you can eat, and no more pain and only love and belly rubs.

Brian (aka Poppy)